Closer to Home

What's with the name? 

Well, it is used for identification purposes, right? But, do you know that in many cultures, they believe that a person's name provides a clue as to the life he/she will lead? 

I guess, that's why in the Philippines most girl's names have Mary or Maria or Marie so they will forever be connected to our Mother Mary, and hopefully emulate her values.

My family and relatives call me Gigi. When I went to school, my teachers and classmates called me by my second name, Gemma. My first name is really Maria, yes, I will forever be grateful I am connected to Mama Mary. To differentiate one Maria to another, we are called by our second names instead.

It was when I introduced myself to my co-teachers in New Orleans, Louisiana - to the first school I was assigned to teach and I told them my name, Gemma, I had to say it a few times, and they still couldn't pronounce it! Oh well, I told them to call me Maria instead, and easily they responded. From 2007 on I was Maria to my co-workers, credit card companies, and all of the succeeding documents I had to sign.

And then this year, for some beautiful reason.... I joined the Public Education Department of the state of New Mexico. In the federal program that I am coordinating, there were two Marias and one Mario. My boss said there was too many Marias in our bureau so I might as well use my second name, Gemma. Nice!

So now, I had to reintroduce myself and let everybody get use to calling me by the name, Gemma. 

Funny, when I told them my nickname is Gigi, they were like, "Oh I like it too!"

We all have our preferences by how we want our names pronounced, how we want to be called and addressed.

In my lifetime, I guess I just never thought I'll be using all my names, but I did! Never mind the pronunciation or the accent. It's still me!

Even with the name changes, I was able to keep who I really am, deep down.

Although sometimes, the Maria isn't the Gemma I used to be. Maria seemed so quiet, serious, and "nose bleeding" all the time! Lol..., Gemma is more the real thing! Lol.

I am not sure about life's path and its connection to my name though... but it feels really good to be back to Gemma now. I feel closer to home!

Finding Time for Time Outs

https://arebel4christ.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/w-5714fp.jpg

I have been stuck for a couple of weeks now.  Stuck because I can’t get myself to do some action when I should be!

Maybe, I was having my post-no-summer-syndrome, so I feel like I owe myself some time out.

The best of me would have everybody out of my sight because I will watch a movie. They are of course, free to join me, but my mind was so concentrated on just watching. All else, I am not doing.

For the first time since 2005, I have not had my two months summer break!

Me and My Jacket!

I was browsing through my pictures since I came here in the US, and realized that I was mostly wearing the same thing during photo ops!

I'm Back!

There was just too much going on especially after the wrath of Yolanda... that I felt it was better to keep silent and just do what needs to be done... not including, writing.

It's almost two months now, and I suddenly missed my blogs - My Dailies and Pinoy Teacher's Stories!

So, am pouring my heart out again... my never ending novela! lol!

When we left New Orleans, three years ago, and settled in New Mexico... I literally, settled, mind, body, heart and soul. I love where I am, I love my job and everything about Gallup. Maybe, I just got tired of moving from one school to another, that when for the first time, I've kept my position as an IEP Facilitator/Writer, running three years now, I want to hold on. I've suddenly resisted change. I've settled.

... when I shouldn't.

Change is good. But, I forgot about it. 

I thank God for His messengers for prodding me to challenge myself again. A friend insisted that I cut my losses. Another one pushed me to take the risk that could be the answer to it all; that God's delays are not only His denials, but it could also mean, He wants me to look at better options and that it is time to move out of my comfort zone and embrace change! and another friend, drilled me to it!

... and so, I've awaken. I'm back! :)

mmmm... let me stretch first! Lol!

NAMASTE.

I'm 40 and I Love It! :)

I AM 40!!!

Well, that just took a lot of courage in me to be revealing my age when I've actually stopped counting at 33! 

When asked about my age in application forms, I had to subtract the year with my birth year before coming up with the correct age! But of course! LOL!

Why did I stop counting? Direct Answer. I've decided to stop judging myself. 

Age, would be people's way and sadly, my own personal basis of how I should act, behave and look based on what the society expects me to act, behave and look! I'd hear people say that I should act my age! HUH? So, would that mean, the older you get, the more serious, dull and boring you become? Mmmm, that's just not what I envision my life to be, unfortunately! Lol!

Age would also be the basis of what status we should already be at, at this age, "You should already be married with kids?" DUH? and ostracize those who have chosen to stay single at high-risk pregnancy ages? 
No, no, no, no, no.

So, I've decided long ago to stop counting and just enjoy my years on earth!

And.. now at 20.. I mean, 30.. oh yeah! 40.. Lol! I've decided to lovingly accept me as me! 

Acceptance will start from me... and who I've become after 40 years of living, loving and learning and I am embracing all of it wholeheartedly! 

I am grateful , blessed, and full of joy for all the 40 years of God's blessings and miracles in my life. I am still amazed, full of awe and wonder, and will continue to be fascinated and enchanted by His love, compassion, and generosity for another 40 more years of life! :)

Thank you everyone for sharing this momentous event of my life! :)

To God be the Glory!

NAMASTE.

One of Life's Surprises!

Simple Me.

I am really just a very simple person. I love to laugh. I love to keep things simple, easy and straight to the point. I’m not into a lot of drama, complications and hassles. As much as possible, I just really want to live a simple life.

Gallup, NM, really fits in the picture. I am in a state where simplicity is the capital! Lol! But really!

Kids are OK with their classmates, all parent and teacher-fearing.

I love my job. I love my co-workers and where I work.

I get to sing my heart out in the Gallup Filipino Choir.

I have good friends who love the company of each other. No putting down, no side-comments, just plain companionship.

All’s good.

I thank God for this and I pray He’ll keep it for me.

NAMASTE.

-day 309

Our dog Friend.

He was our dog, an askal (“asong kalye”), he was with us for, I am not really sure how long, but enough to have my memories of him alive.

I just like his company. But, since, I’m not really a dog person; still, I like his presence.

It was stormy one night, and since we do not keep dogs in the house, we just left him in his dog house. It was really cold, raining and windy that night, he was crying, but we can do nothing about it, he can’t be put in the house.

The next day, we found him dead. I was crying real hard, blaming my mother for not allowing him to come inside.

In time, I just accepted what happened. I think we had another dog after that, but it didn’t register as much as our old dog, Friend.

You’re a good dog, Friend. Thank you for understanding and being part of our childhood memories.

NAMASTE.

-day 308

Much ado about AGE!

If there is one thing, and I am not really sure why, I still can’t embrace, is my age! You see, I just can’t believe that I once in elementary, then a high school student, a college student… now, I have 2 kids and OK, the most dreaded question, I can’t even answer correctly! Lol!

"How old are you?" 

White Hair!

As much as I want to hide my white hair, I can’t, I have a few at the back, I think, I don’t even know!  It doesn’t even bother me since I can’t see it! But the last month, I saw a couple of white hair in front! I dared not pull it out, fearing the more I do it, the more it’ll grow! So, I just hid it! Lol!

Wrinkles

I guess, no matter how I put what-have-you-cosmetics in my face, it’s part of growing up! Lol! So yes, I can see fine lines, some wrinkles, laugh lines; the funny thing still was the more I experiment on anti-wrinkle creams, the more I get pimples! So, yes, at my age, pimples love me!

Mind-Set

It’s all in the mind I guess, when people ask me how old I am, I’d stop and calculate, or pretend I forgot, well, sometimes, I do forget. How old am I? I’d answer differently. They believe it, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t even matter if they believe of not! Lol! A matter of mind-setting, a matter of not minding, and minding your own age! Lol!

Truth

I will turn 40 next year!!! Wahhh, my life will begin by then!!! Yay!!! Lol!!

NAMASTE.

-day 306

Long time dream!

Funny, but there’s this one dream I would like to do. Ok, I am not sure if it will ever happen in my lifetime, but I just want it to happen anyway.

Here goes… I would like to give an inspirational speech to graduating students to where I graduated high school and college. 

Big dream, huh?

What will I tell? I have not even organized my thoughts, maybe I will be perked up when I get an invitation! Lol! I guess, I have to be someone who has become somebody, before they will ask me to speak, right?

What are the chances of that happening? I don’t really know.

But, yep, that’s one of my dreams!

Maybe, I’ll include how one day, when I was panicking to write 95 blog posts, I have told the whole web world about what I want to happen someday – speak to graduating students from my alma maters!

Inspire them, ignite their thoughts and celebrate with them!

NAMASTE.

-day 305

Singsing

Funny memories just flooded my mind today.

Prelude to Socorro Adventure

The key to a healthy body is sweat!

I have not been sweating for months because of the winter season. Now that it is summer, I am beginning to feel it!

... especially here in Socorro, NM! 

We drove today for 3 hours from Gallup because I will be attending a course in Physics!

The whole family joined me since we were given free housing for the week. But, my, my, my! it is sooooo hot!!!

It is now 10:40pm and still I am sweating.. and all I am doing is browsing the internet and Facebook!

Major why? they are using swamp coolers in the university, and I think the pump installed in our apartment is broken! Great! 

Everyone's asleep though, because we all took a bath and felt refreshed. Thanks to the fan and the opened windows!

It's 5 days of "I-don't-know-what-is-in-store-for-me-in-the-course" I did not even teach this school year and definitely not Physics! 

Oh well, excitement is in the air! Lol!

So, for the next 5 days, I'll be updating you all with our happenings here in Socorro, New Mexico.

For the mean time, I sleep.

NAMASTE.

P.S. .. and YES, Sweat is Health is Wealth! - so All is well! I am embracing sweat! Lol!

-day 187

On Cars and Driving!

Prior to the opportunity of being interviewed by an employer here in the US... I have been dreaming often of driving.. and the fear that comes with it!

I have never driven anything in my life, except bicycles and bump cars when I was young.. I was never car-literate too! No idea about the styles, brands of car, what's in and new, much more auto parts!

My father would often tell me he would teach me how to drive once I get to have my car already.. well, given that.. I knew it means not in the near future hehe..

BUT since we were told that we will be needing an international license here, he taught me how to drive(manual)! and the first time.. yes, you guessed it right! - I broke his car! in just 15 minutes of being in his car it broke! hehe

Thanks to the patience of my brother Dondon he was the one who continued teaching me so after like 6 hours all in all for like 5 days I get to run the car around the subdivision on my own for 30 minutes hehe.. :)

With that gained confidence, I persisted my father to allow me to drive in the highway but he wouldn't as we would leave the country soon.. 

Now.. Unlike in the Philippines when we can simply "pay" and viola! -driver's license! here, NO NO NO.. Louisiana law requires us to pass an eye test, written exam and road test.. 

Thanks this time to the Filipino Community of New Orleans: Art, Tita Lina, Tina, Father Roel, Father Nilo and Father Kiko for generously teaching and allowing us to use their automatic cars for us to learn how to drive, park and back up! (Now, I have forgotten how to drive manually! hehe)

Results:

I get to pass my written exam...

The roadtest.. what do you think? hehe

The DMV official tested me in the highway where I need to signal every now and then because I need to change lanes!(but of course right? hehe) The story behind was: It is my first time ever do that!! 

(guess our tutors were afraid as well - so we remained in residential areas! more so because we have not gotten our student permit! :)

I was sweating but after a while got the hang of it.. as if I know what I was doing hehehe... at 40mph I would let go of the gas so it would move down to 30mph to 25 mph! and I was in the highway!! 

I was using the center lane when I was asked to turn left - dangerous move! but i did park, back up and stop when I am supposed too well.. Good practice eh? hehehehe

I still felt fulfilled after that.. because I was able to do what I did safely.. They gave me a driver's license with restrictions -I can only drive with a licensed driver with me..:)

Practice makes perfect, builds confidence too right?.. So, in like after 5 trials and errors and failed tests, I got my license in my 6th try!

Whoa! Ride with me? LOL!

woodfins

 -day 163

Jessica and Filipinos

 
Tuesday night was like Pacquiao (the world boxing champion) night! 

Filipino friends shared potluck and gathered to watch Jessica Sanchez and Philip Philips compete for the final showdown in American Idol Season 11.

We loved Jessica's songs, and even if the third song written for her wasn't loved by the judges- we still, of course, no doubt, voted for her! - via online and phone call! - too many times!

Philip may have rendered a beautiful "Home" song, but still, to a Filipino's heart - it is still Jessica!

If Filipinos unite, Filipinos can make wonders and miracles! I believe that.

WGWG may have all the white fans and may have been given a winning song this season, but we, Filipinos are keeping the faith.

We want Jessica to win!

Today, the answer will be revealed.

Let's keep our fingers crossed! :)

------------------------

Over and done with. The WGWG won as usual "American" idol, not Asian- American idol. Lol!

-day 152

Pinoy Teacher's Stories

http://pinoyteacherstories.com

Today, for some unknown inspiration I've created another blog site for FILIPINO TEACHERS! Welcome to PINOY TEACHER'S STORIES!

Prior to coming here in the USA in September,2007. I was really very curious!

First and foremost, it was my first time to ever leave the Philippines! I didn't even have an idea as to what "another country" looks like! I was that naive!

So, I had too many questions! From: "What will happen to me in schools? What will the students say? How do they look like? Will they understand me? What about the teachers, are they nice? What about the system?" To: "Will I survive???"

My only prior knowledge then were School-related Hollywood movies! And, hmmm, it was not heaven at all!

Thus, I surfed the net and did my research.

I was hoping to find a STORY of a real Filipino Teacher in America, who shares her thoughts, her experiences, insights and learning. I was hoping to find a website that would allow me to prepare as to what is in store for me when I go there!

Unfortunately, I did not find any STORY! Yes, there were news about agencies being sued, teacher rallies, achievements, organizations existing in a particular area... But, what I was really looking for wasn't there or maybe I just didn't surf enough?

So, just like being married, I was in for a surprise! I had to find out for myself my WIFM "What's in it for me?".

And this is my story... my stories!

I am dedicating this blog to all FILIPINO teachers who are wanting or at least dreaming to see what life in another country, well, I haven't been to any "other" yet but America, so this blog is dedicated to all FILIPINO teachers who are aspiring to work in the land of milk and honey?!!?

I'm very excited to start...

Thank you all for reading and following my blogs!

NAMASTE. 

-day 28-

The Big Question Mark!

puzzled.gif

My 5,000 pesos story

For the last 2 days I have been engrossed in learning new stuffs! I’ve always considered myself as a lifelong learner, I just need to learn, learn and learn still. To not remain stagnant, to continuously challenge myself to reach new heights, explore new grounds and simply embrace change.

I remember one post I’ve written entitled CHANGE stories and would like to share it with you…

                     

http://www.ideachampions.com/weblogs/archives/2011/04/1_it_is_not_the.shtml

“An investment in life is an

investment in change…

When you are changing all the time,

you’ve got to continue to keep adjusting to change,

which means that you are going to be constantly  facing new obstacles. 

That’s the joy of living. 

And once you are involved in the process of becoming, 

there is no stopping. 

You’re doomed! You’re gone! 

But what a fantastic journey!”

This was from Leo Buscaglia  the author of the book Living, Loving and Learning. (click his name to know more about it.)

As I despise stability, weird but true, his words continue to ring in my ears.. Change. A beautiful word!

Let me share my story:

After graduating from college, I went back to Lucena City (our hometown) and there I was given an opportunity to teach college students. I did that for 3 years, the force to "move on" was so strong after the end of my 3rd year in teaching  that with only 5000 pesos (about 100USD) loaned from an organization, I traversed Makati (4 hours away from Lucena; Philippines' business capital city) because of my desire to achieve 3 things:

First, to be able to wear a blazer.
Second, to work in an office setting.
Third, to earn more.

I didn't even know what job I was looking for!!! I knew I would change jobs, my point A.. but I did not know what my point B was  - all I knew were my 3 desires and I wanted that to happen!

True enough, after 2 weeks I found myself a job! in Makati! I could wear blazers, plus I could earn more through commissions BUT not in an office setting!!! 

I took the COMPUTER SALESMAN job- and for 2 weeks without any allowance but my mere 5000 pesos - I walked the streets and knocked on doors of every Makati and Mandaluyong households!!! every night for 2 weeks!!! 

Guess, I had a lucky bone because when we had a field trip to Cavite together with eager, fresh, excited rookies in a BUS, all ready to sell of course, I was the only one who was able to BREAK MY ICE and SELL A COMPUTER!

Given a commission of 8000 pesos I gave 3000 pesos to my very shy partner but since she has accompanied me through the whole walking, knocking on doors and selling trip, she deserved to be given.. And off I went job-searching again because I needed my 3 desires achieved! - So with my new 5000 pesos allowance, I landed another job selling COPY MACHINES, this time, I had 10,000 pesos salary and commission if I was able to sell, I could wear a blazer, and it's kind of half office- half field setting. At this job, my clients were all Makati offices.... 

...an opportunity indeed!, so I introduced my machines, and if clients had no desire.. I sold myself! I looked for HR and asked for openings!:) and voila! I found what I was looking for! (After less than 2 months!)

First, to be able to wear a blazer. (Oh yes, everyday!, different colors!)
Second, to work in an office setting.(Yes, Ayala baby!:)
Third, to earn more. (True, true, true, good salary, commission, company benefits and because we have high-end clients, we would treat them out, and I got to eat for free! lol!)

What a 5000 PESOS journey!

“Everything’s a risk. Change and growth take place only when you’re willing to risk and experiment with your own life! And once you begin to become hooked on risk, your whole life changes"!!! Soooooo true!

To where I am now, I still seek for change, there will always be "point A to point B".. I guess it’s in my soul, to simply yearn and become… The only prerequisite to all these are AWARENESS and ACKNOWLEDGMENT of WHAT YOU WANT and WHAT YOU DREAM OF.

Unlike the law of inertia, that an object remains at rest unless given motion, here you do all, you be all, you make things happen! And then it will happen!

But then again, who am I to teach, lol. A person who wants to learn will learn, just as a person who wants his/her dreams achieved will achieve, at their own time and season! Right?

Embrace change, and try not to put emotional attachments to things.. and then the thought of what more if the one lost is a loved one…. And you’d say better not ponder on it.. But then again, why not???

Leo Buscaglia wrote about Death too he's telling us not to waste time… And live every moment – every God-given moment –as we attempt to know life.

WOW!.. I have none to tell, but to date I have moved on.. CHANGE voila! and eager once more to put on as much memories as I can to this so called life. :)

What about you? How willing are you to CHANGE?

 

Honestly, it's all a matter of right timing! 

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear! If you want to invest your Php5000.00, the best way to go is to educate yourself.

Instead of being lazy, watching TV all day, or liking pictures in Facebook day in and out... spend part of your time productively!

Do something you've never done before.. or maybe, do it again the 2nd time around, the right way!... and never ever give up!!! just do it whatever it takes!

I wish you all the best.

-day 6/7- Christmas party excuse?

Believing is Seeing

To God be the Glory and Praise!

The day I was given notice of non-renewal as Sped Teacher in HS, 4 months ago, I wrote this and held on to it! ” I believe that something GREAT will happen in my life soon!” I just believed it would happen, I don’t know what is or how to get there, I just believed with all my heart and soul that something GREAT will happen in my life!

Friends would speculate about my job status then, but I chose not to focus on it, and just looked at possibilities! My family and I would attend gatherings and summer celebrations bringing no baggage, no fear, no negativity. I had chosen to enjoy the food, mingled with friends with no thought of what just transpired in my teaching status. I chose not to think about it, not to ponder on the loss, and just thought that GOD is simply too big for anything!

True enough, plans my husband and I talked about, we just made it happen – job fairs, online applications, telephone inquiries and interviews. I didn’t stop, I just did what needed to be done. My thinking was I will get there, but still relied on what God wanted me to do,I followed His lead and command. The amazing thing was as I did, He did more! He was always 2-3 steps ahead- and yes so much more! I never had a lapse time. There was always something happening everyday since the day the school ended. Committed to His plans, I was re-hired with no effort at all.. the principal said “I have a job, if you want it, it’s yours!” It took me less than 3 minutes in the office! The job was handed out just like that!

Mom says there are angels in this world. These are people given by God to support, encourage and make things happen for you. I would never had gotten that job without my former principal’s advocacy. He was and still is my angel in disguise! and I am truly grateful!

BUT, God didn’t stop! 3 days before teachers were to report for work, I received an email from my former principal asking me to call him since an opportunity just came up! An IEP Facilitator position has just been vacated and the job requires to handle, administer, oversee and review 3 schools’ special education documents.

Coming from the experiences of teaching college, to system integration sales and account management, to teaching high school computers, to teaching special education, it felt like it was a fit. I went through the process of interview with the district’s Sped Coordinators and actual case review of an existing IEP document on a Friday, 2pm. By Monday, 8am, I got the job!

Now, it’s been a week, and YES! I love my job. I love the people whom I work with, I love how I need to be organized, to be dynamic, I love the training aspect of the job, I love writing, I love working with my computer and traveling to work in 3 different workplaces. I am just still high with the turn around. So I am just returning all glory and praise to God for He made pieces of the puzzle to fit perfectly, for designing and planning the work of my hands. He is wonderful!

Something GREAT will happen in our lives soon!

A matter of believing. A matter of plain knowing, there is a God.

A God of infinite possibilities. A God of miracles.

Our God.

For the love of “Green Card!”

“Why do you want to leave Louisiana?”, the principal asked me 6 months ago, “…because I’m in love with the mountains of New Mexico!” that’s true but honestly it was more of "because I’m looking for a stable job".. every year in my old district I was always in the surplus list! PLUS, I heard from friends that they are sponsoring green card visas in the district! – but of course, I did not tell him that in the interview!

So I was hired, fell so much in love with the place, my school, my students, my co-workers, our apartment, everything about where I am I love! I started to dream again, made future plans, connected with my passion, made friends, enjoyed the simple life and then the BIG NEWS!

“..the district is also faced with budget challenges.. 7 million dollars cut from the 2011-2012 operational budget.. regular attrition.. LAST IN – FIRST OUT.”

The phone rang yesterday, I felt my blood rushed out of my face as I walked in the principal’s office. All the principals were there, and as I sat.. all I heard was “.. position no longer mine… budget cut.. based on seniority.. the regular ed teacher whose position was cut has Special Ed endorsement so I have to go..”

In the state of shock.. not knowing what to think of while walking out of the office.. I called my husband and told him, I was cut, I will no longer be with the school next year! I was so cool about it that made him not panic too!

I taught my last class as if nothing happened, my co-teacher heard about what happened but was decent about it too. After the class, I googled the net, “special education teacher jobs in the USA”.. but since I was still in the state of shock, I disregarded the websites on the screen and counted how much I owe my credit cards!!! BAD. REAL BAD.

So to date, I am still in the midst of a storm. And never in my entire life had I attempted to write about it but now. I had not told anyone too! Even, if they know, for sure, I don’t mind. You see, every year for the last three years I always find myself without a contract the following year and it seemed like OK but this time, I have gotten to love everything about where I am! That hurts!

Leo Buscaglia’s words just kept ringing in my ears.. “An investment in life is an investment in change.. When you keep on changing all the time, you’ve got to continue to keep on adjusting to change- which means you are going to be constantly facing new obstacles and that’s the joy of living! And once you’re involved in the process of becoming, you’re doomed! you’re gone! but what a fantastic journey!”

A fantastic journey indeed! I am on H1B Visa AND I only have one year to be sponsored a green card visa!!!! I know I am doomed! and I am gone!!! BUT it made me cry, it made me think, it made reflect, it made me look forward to possibilities and most specially it made me believe in the goodness of God and His plans for me and my family.

At this time, I can only think of three things:

First, Trust that something really good is going to happen. All the doors, windows and rooftops are opening again to pour out blessings and graces. And this, I believe.

Second, Do what needs to be done. Apply, search for jobs, call, email, send letters.. the more prospects, the more possibilities of getting a job! I pray.

Third, Let it go. I am letting go of my need for a green card visa. I am letting go because God may have other plans for us. Resigning from the other district was a decision I don’t regret, I know my consequences, I know my results, I also know my reasons and what not for leaving. I don’t know why it happened, or if it was really designed to happen for a purpose in the first place. No blames, no need to justify, no need to uplift self and be proud. Just the way life is and I have no answer. I let go.

Miracles await. I know.


... and miracle happened indeed! click here!

miracles?

I've just taken Middle School Mathematics Praxis 0069. Whew!!! IF I pass.. it means there is a miracle!!! hehehe