Gemma's Books on Amazon

Gemma's Books on Amazon
Gemma's Books on Amazon

180 degree

“Lord, give me a boyfriend, pleaseeeeeeee….”

I was 15 then and I still had no boyfriend.

I belonged to NBSB club – No Boyfriend Since Birth! My life was going well though, I was getting A’s in school, and yes, I had boys as friends but never a boyfriend!!!

Oh I had fun memories with boys.. I had this neighbor who was my long time crush, he was just so good-looking.. I really liked him!!! So, I went to this very small store in our subdivision, and as I was walking, minding my business, singing and humming.and then I looked up.. OMG, my long time crush was staring at me with smile on his face.. my heart thumped so fast that when I took another step towards him, my slipper slipped off my feet!!! I was so embarrassed, but to show him how confident I was, I continued singing and humming as I went back to get my slippers! :0

One more, when I was a freshman in high school, I met this senior guy, that every time he’d see me, he’d tease me to his friend, who was also a senior! There was this one time when I was in the playground playing in the monkey bars (hey, I was only 13 then, I could play!) and then he saw me and from afar shouted ‘Gemmmaaaaaa!! (that’s my name), here’s ‘theboyyyyy’!!!!’ and the whole senior class just roared in laughter!!!! I was soooooo embarrassed that I was not sure anymore how I handled the situation! :0

Having been educated in a Catholic private school my whole life, I was brought into thinking that girls could only wait, until a guy courts you, then all you have to do is wait.

So I waited.. and waited… and waited… I graduated high school and college and I still waited..

But I was proactive too, I looked out for guys everywhere, in the public bus, in the library, in the church, in the classroom, in the cafeteria, in the restaurants. I started conversations, even befriended them.. but still nada…

What was worst was when I attended family gatherings, ask who was the center of attention (or so I thought)? Yeah.. ME!! "Gemma, you mean to say you still have no boyfriend yet?"; "Gemma, you are getting old, you should look for a man already"; "Gemma, it’s about time"… over and over and over; year after year after year…

Fed up with how I perceived people as controlling me. I made a decision. I turned around.. 180 degree turn and learned my lesson… What’s the lesson? Mmmmm.. what’s the lesson? good question..

The lesson: To never GIVE UP! I continued to hope and continued to pray… “Lord…” but at the same time, I prepared myself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually,,, I buried myself in self-help books ‘How to find a man in 10 days” or something of that sort (lol), I attended leadership training seminars (I could find him there right?).. I exercised (nothing beats a sexy body! lol!) I became myself… man should love me for who I am and what not (right?) .. and I continued to imagine and declared to the Universe what I want.

Well, there’s a truth in the saying, when it rains, it pours! Because it did pour, at that time Guy #1, Guy #2, Guy #3, did come..

And then I was in control.. who to choose.. mmm but that's another story…

Well, I am sorry but I totally disagree with Jerry Mcguire’s “you complete me”. No, no, no, no.. no one completes you but you. You are already complete!

I may have been pressured to find a boyfriend in my 20′s because of media and the world howling at me that it was the right thing to do. It took me so long to realize that no one completes me but me, I may be single then, but I was complete and I need to make sure I am whole first before going into a relationship.. otherwise, it’ll be a mess .

Sad, but the truth is we so hate waiting that most of us just jump at every relationship and just easily open our hearts to the first guy who says I love you, or to the guy who buys us this or buys us that… sad..

I’ll forever be grateful to all my friends, family and relatives for pushing me the way they did. I will not have become the person that I am now, without the fun and the sad times..

Waiting did work out for me. I waited for a year… errr.. yearsss!!!, and that waiting period made me become stronger, learned and capable of handling relationships. Yes, building relationship is hard work because it involves decision and commitment.

Maybe God willed for me to wait that long, to preserve myself to the person that He prepared for me.

In the end, I didn’t actually find him, you know… my boyfriend-turned-husband found me. All in due time, all in His time and all because of the 180 degree turn. :)

Maria Gemma Hilotin, EzineArticles Basic PLUS Author

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