Moments Like This!

October 14, 2013 afternoon

I need something new to keep me from thinking I've been in this country for so long. I need to go home. I badly want to go home, at least to recharge, at least to hug my parents and family, at least to share stories with relatives and friends.

Weird, I told my husband about this and he told me, "Magtyaga na lang tayo muna dito". He said, to be patient where we are... funny, we are in the United States of America! Many Filipinos in the Philippines would say the same thing while waiting for their opportunity to go to another country. BUT, we are in the other country.. and we are both eager to go home - for a vacation!

Why can't we?

Because leaving without permanent papers would mean going back to our country and staying there for good. We will start back to zero. We'll need to find jobs, make a living and be stable. For a single woman, it maybe OK, but not for a family of four.

We love where we are here in the US in terms of jobs and education for our children. I just badly need a break.

I am not sure what new I am looking for, money can't seem to solve the longing, buying things, eating a lot and traveling to places continue to be temporary and fleeting. 

If only we have the paperwork already, we'll leave at once! Never mind the ticket and expenses. We will go home. But we don't have any.

This is not saying I am not grateful and blessed, because I am but still it's just so weird feeling this way! I feel like a victim! I feel trapped because this isn't my intention, and as of now, even as I am writing this, I can do nothing about it and it sucks! :(

October 14, 2013 midnight news

Major earthquake shook Central Philippines.

I rest my case.

God bless our country, Lord.